開學篇 (第一篇: 課外活動篇) Back to School, Part One, Extracurricular Activities

I can't believe the summer is almost over. It's time to think about the kids going back to school. Back-to-School means that my life will be "back to normal" and becomes more structured, dictated by my kids' after-school schedules. Now that the kids are older, they have a clear sense of what they like and what they don't like, so they choose the after-school activities that they want to participate in. My 10 year-old daughter will continue with her dance classes and Girl Scout. She had bridged over to be a Girl Scout Cadette in June. My 8 year-old son will do AYSO soccer (www.ayso.org) this fall and Little League Baseball in the spring. He will also do Cub Scouting. He will be a Bear Cub Scout this year. With both kids in Scouting, we will be selling lots of Boy Scout popcorn and Girl Scout cookies this upcoming school year.

I am making both kids do violin. I let them choose between piano or violin and they both chose violin. I think they chose violin because they perceived that playing violin is EASIER than playing piano. Neither of my kids have inherited the musical discipline (or talent) from their father, so they will never achieve the kind of success that many Asian kids have exhibited in music performance. But I want my kids to be exposed to playing music, reading music, and learning about music theory. Mostly, I want them to appreciate music and musical performance. When they go to a concert, whether pop or classic, they will realize how hard those musicians have to work to get to where they are today. Unfortunately for me, getting them to practice violin is like pulling teeth, so they'll likely end their violin career the day I don't feel like nagging them about practicing their violins.

時間也過得真快,八月中,快開學了。 開學後,我的生活也就能變得比較規律,可是會更忙碌。 我覺得除了要開車載小孩上下課之外,還要載小孩參加不同的課外活動行程。 當然還得弄便當及督導小孩的功課。 其實也沒什麼,有就學年齡小孩的父母都能瞭解我們現階段在做的事,也很清楚現階段該做些什麼事。

我十歲的女兒將要繼續她的舞蹈課程以及女童子軍(www.girlscouts.org) 的活動。 我八歲的兒子會以秋季足球(www.ayso.org)及春季少少棒(www.littleleague.org) 為主,外加男童子軍(www.scouting.org)。

為了能讓我的小孩文武雙全(可能嗎?!?!),我強迫他們一定要學一樣樂器。 他倆都選擇小提琴。 我想他們大概是認為學小提琴比學鋼琴簡單。 其實要好好學任何樂器都很難。 除了要有興趣之外,還要有恆心、毅力、及耐心。 我的小孩是比不上在美國的許多亞裔青年,各各都能夠拉或彈一手好琴。 除非我逼他們練琴,他們是不會自動自發的去練琴的。 想當年我媽也逼我練琴,逼到最後母女的感情也搞壞了,琴也越練越糟。 我覺得那時是我的心態問題,也正是青少年反抗期, 只要是我媽說的話我都會討厭。 最後我媽發現她真的是在浪費錢才在我十一年級的時候終止我的學琴生涯。 現在回想起來當然是我不對,可是我的那一段學琴經驗真的是一趟不愉快的人生旅程。 三十年後的今天,人生的輪迴,我又要來逼我的小孩學琴,感覺好像不太對。 也因為我的過去,讓我對我的小孩學琴這件事想了好久。

我的老公很會拉小提琴。 從小沒人逼他學琴。 後來是因為我公婆無法開車載他去學琴而沒能繼續學琴。 跟我差好大喔! 他的想法是要讓小孩有學琴的經驗,讓他們對音樂有基本的瞭解。 因為練過琴才能體會音樂人的才華及辛苦。 學琴的出發點有了, 下一個步驟就是要如何激發(motivate)小孩的練琴意願,少讓我用“逼”的方式強迫他們練琴。 基本上沒什麼好方法,就是我得花時間陪小孩子拉琴。 不是練琴,而是陪小孩子一起拉琴。 想當年自己練琴的辛苦,原來就是用要來培育下一代!

志願服務精神 Volunteerism

住在美國最讓我感動的事是美國人的志願服務精神(Volunteerism)。 做父母的除了需要到孩子的學校做免費服務之外,有些家長也參於很多社區服務,包括男女童子軍 (Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of America),少棒連盟 (Little League) 以及美國青少年足球連盟 (AYSO-American Youth Soccer Organization)。 這一切的活動與教學全靠有經驗的家長推動及執行。

AYSO (The American Youth Soccer Organization) http://soccer.org/home.aspx
Little League http://www.littleleague.org/Little_League_Online.htm
Girl Scouts of the USA http://www.girlscouts.org/program/journeys/your_world/default.asp
Boys Scouts of America http://www.scouting.org/

我九歲的女兒目前是個 Girl Scout Junior。她二年級時加入女童子軍,從Brownies 開始。她的團長及副團長全是她同學的媽媽。如果沒有這幾位媽媽專心致力的安排所有的活動及連絡,我想我也不會讓我的女兒參加女童子軍。女兒的課餘時間有限,所以她的課外活動必需要對她的成長過程有所幫助。

在美國,小男孩最重要的社交活動就是參與球隊連盟。足球是從四歲就開始,少棒是從T-ball 隊 (幼稚園大班或六歲) 開始打。兒子的教練(或副教練)全是他同學的爸爸或媽媽。因為球隊連盟要求家長一定要volunteer,害我老公都不大好意思不參與兒子的球隊活動。還好他很會考試,所以他就去上課考了個小孩足球裁判員的資格。去年當兒子的球隊要比賽時,我老公就得上場做裁判,非常辛苦。我呢? 我就做所謂的Team Mom。有雜事就找我。

通常如果男孩子對體育沒興趣的話,他在美國這個社會就會顯得比較格格不入。我很慶幸我兒子的運動神經很好, 在學校也比較容易交到朋友, 不會被其它小朋友取笑或欺負。因為兒子才一年級, 功課幾乎沒有, 因此我也讓他參加男童子軍。最主要的原因也是因為他的 Den Leader 是一位非常有奉獻精神的媽媽。我兒子目前屬於男童子軍的老虎隊 (Tiger Cub Scouts)。

美國人的志願服務精神(Volunteerism)真的讓我大開眼界。

I have always admired the volunteer spirit of Americans. When I was growing up in Canada, I didn't see any parents volunteering at my schools. Maybe it's the sign of the times--school funding had been reduced drastically by the government, so parents had to step in and help out the teachers any way they can. I do see that as the kids get older, the opportunity to volunteer in the classrooms decreases, but parents continue to volunteer at school, either in the PTA or other fundraising activities. As for myself, I volunteer in my kids' classrooms once a month. I would do more, but other parents have signed up as well, so we take turns. I am also known as the Box Tops lady at our school. Kids cut off Box Tops and bring them to school. I then collect, count, and mail the Box Tops to General Mills. A few months later, General Mills will send a check to our school. Each Box Top is worth 10 cents to our school. Each year, our school earned about $1,000-$2,000 from this fundraising effort alone.

Another form of volunteerism that I come across daily is the selfless dedication of parents to their kids' extra-curricular activities--namely sports organizations and scouting. Both my kids are involved in scouting. If it were not for the dedication and hard work of the parents (scout leaders) involved, I would not be bothered with scouting. Our scout leaders make participating in scouting activities an easy thing. Neither my husband and I are the outdoorsy type, so the opportunity to expose our kids to outdoor activities is very valuable to us.

Each Saturday from September to December, my son participates in our local AYSO league's soccer games. Then from January to February, he does winter soccer, also sponsored by the AYSO. Other boys often choose to do basketball or other sports while waiting for Baseball's Little League to start in March. So from March to June, my son is involved in the local Little League games. There is usually a game Saturday morning and a practice session with his teammates one hour a week, to be determined by his coaches. Needless to say, all of the coaches and referees of the Little League teams and the AYSO teams are volunteers as well. This is how American passes on their values and heritage to their children. When these children grow up, they will also volunteer in their children's schools or teams. This is a wonderful, selfless thing to be able to pass down from generation to generation.